Tue Aug 22st 10am China time

Hello friends and family….Yesterday was another amazingly emotional and exhausting day, but a wonderful day and all three of us reached the end of it successfully and with flying colors.
Before we get into that let’s take a brief moment to recap the rest of Sunday night.
After Alia woke up from her nap we stripped her naked and tried bathing her in a bath again. This time was much more successful as Jill soaped Alia up and also washed her hair and made a spook in it without any real protest.
Time to start our evening: We dressed our baby up in her new ladybug outfit, sat her in her stroller and out we went. First we went to our local stores to buy Alia a new outfit as a lot of the clothes that we brought with us were too big for her, especially the bottom halves. We also thought that this was an excellent time to test out the virtues of “Chinese Laundry”. Every local store regardless of what it sells also specializes in “Chinese Laundry” and of course at a much less expensive price than at the hotel.
Next it was back to Roses for a beer, followed by some Ma Po Tofu and Noodles at the Chinese Restaurant in the Hotel. All the while our little darling was behaving impeccably.
Time for bed, and time to prepare for the visit to the orphanage trip on Monday.


Monday Aug 21st:
We arose around 7:30am and was very happy to smell the oh so sweet aroma of our babies poop in her diaper. Now we had changed plenty of diapers since we got Alia but this was the first of this kind. Another new challenge that we both (especially Jill) arose to with flying colors. Down to the breakfast scene and another fun time was had by all.
Next getting Alia dressed for the trip, and back down to the lobby at 10am to meet Amy to take us on this trip.
Amy, was dressed in New York Black, she was reacting to a Jill’s comment the last time we saw her. Jill had noticed and said that she always wore white and in NYC everyone always dressed in black.
Amy hustled the three of us into the van and we were on our way.
The trip to the orphanage would take about 80 minutes and that gave us more time to reflect if we were doing the right thing. It was important to us to see where Alia lived her first 15 months but we were very concerned that the visit might have an adverse affect on Alia and that she might regress. All those great strides that were made over the last week may be reversed. We were assured by Amy that she would be fine and all would be well, but we were worried nevertheless.
The 80 minute trip took us out of Guangzhou, onto the highway, thru some not so attractive farmland and duck farms and into Alia’s home town of Quing-Yuan.
This home town had now turned into a city of over 1 million people, surrounded by small mountains that you could hardly see from the pollution, Quing-Yuan City is known for it’s Chicken and chicken dishes. Amy was already talking about the Chicken lunch we would have. We once again stressed to her that we don’t eat chicken.

Once in town our driver stopped several times to ask directions and we were finally escorted to the orphanage by one of Quing Yuan’s finest on a motorbike.

We turned down an ally and recognized the director of the orphanage from the hand over the previous week. He directed the van where to park and we got out into a small ally of concrete. He unlocked the door to the orphanage and we walked up 3 flights of ugly cement stairs in a dark stairwell.

From what we understood, this particular orphanage was state run and occupied the third floor of this building. 24 orphans, about half who are special needs.

As we approached the third floor we heard a couple of dogs barking and Jill and I gave each other a glance. When the director opened the door we were greeted by a gaggle of 7 very excited ladies who were overjoyed to see Yang Guan (Alia).
Yang Guan (Alia) smiled and immediately went into one of the caregiver’s arms when prompted to. We had been told that they would want to hold her and that it was OK.
However Jill always tried to stay within eye shot.
We were let into one room that was set up as a waiting area, asked to sit down as they poured us tea, all the while the ladies playing with Alia.
On a thin third floor balcony laid two dogs. I asked Amy to ask them if the Children had any interaction with them. She was told that all the children know the dogs, recognize them and their barks and are not scared of them but there is no actual inter-action.
We looked up and all the ladies with Yang Guan (Alia) had disappeared into the next room. Amy turned to Jill and told her that she could go with them. So Jill quickly followed while I continued to sit, following what I thought was convention and not being rude sipped my tea.
At this point it was only myself, Amy and the director and his friend in the room. It was obvious that the men of this orphanage had little to no contact with the children.
I couldn’t stand it any longer so I picked up my tea and walked into the next room.
It was a smallish playroom with a few toys, a TV and pull down backdrops to take those assignment photos against.
The women, Jill and Yang Guan had already moved to the remaining room, the Crib Room.
I went thru that door to see all the women and Jill surrounding Yang Guan (Alia) who was now standing in a crib. “That’s her old crib” said Jill to me as I entered.

The room itself was big enough to fit 20 or so cold metal cribs, many of them side to side or front to back. Nothing but a slab of hard masonite substituting for a mattress in each one. Most of them were occupied by children ranging from newly born to 5 years old, all with longing and loving eyes, some of them standing to greet their returned Yang Guan, some of them asleep on the wood and some just vacantly staring. The room itself was barren and sterile.
While Jill watched over the fawning Yang Guan adoration I walked around to each crib and shot video so we would always have these vivid images close to us.
It seemed to me that the special need kids ran the gamut from very healthy to very bad. One poor autistic child, a boy (the only one to have a mattress), could only lie in a twisted position and stare helplessly from his position on his side. Another beautiful child, a 5 year old girl, the oldest inmate at the orphanage seemed totally healthy, running and talking, etc. And I could not figure out why she had not been adopted. It was not until she was playing tumbling games with one of the caregivers that I saw that her feet were deformed. It was heartbreaking because her deformity in no way dampened her spirit or stopped her from running or jumping or playing. Yet this little girl may never see the light of day.
I mean this literally, as there are no outside activities no fresh air and the only daylight these children see is what seeps through the ally windows.

Now I must say that after painting this sad and grim picture there is absolutely no doubt in our minds that while not concentrating on child development the caregivers of this orphanage gave Yang Guan much love and attention in her first 15 months of life. They all seemed to love her very much.
As for our Alia (Yang Guan), she was doing well. She seemed to enjoy being with these ladies again, and even more so with some of the other inmates.
At one point they put her into the crib of an old boy friend who had occupied the adjoining cell to Yang Guan’s. He was a cute little boy who was about the same height. Apparently they used to wave at each other thru the crib bars. At one point when posing for a photo he put his arm around her and she beamed her beautiful smile.
We presented the orphanage with a gift of stuffed animals and they were gratefully handed out to some very happy children. These were absolutely the only toys that we saw in the crib room.
After Jill and I entertained the ladies with a brief time step which we were asked to repeat several times Amy entered the room and announced that it was time to go.
Jill and I looked around one more time in the crib room and followed the ladies still holding Yang Guan to the exit.
Jill took Alia (Yang Guan), who came into mummy’s arms without protest. We asked Amy to thank the ladies for taking such good care of our child and for loving her.

Amy led the way out. As we looked back we could see the ladies waving and wiping tears from their eyes.

For us, we were next going to the place where Yang Guan was found.
For the Orphanage, it was a big day. They were expecting a visit from an American family with their child who had been adopted from that orphanage 4 years ago, and they are back in China readopting.

We piled back into the van for a 30 second ride to the gated entrance to the school where our child was abandoned.
As we got out of the van with Amy and Yang Guan’s primary caregiver we were told that this was the number one school in the city and shown the exact place that Yang Guan was found in the paper box.
A large school, probably a 1960s structure with a guard house and large metal gates situated on a very busy main road.
We took some photos and some video and then let the final caregiver say farewell to her Yang Guan.
As both Yang Guan and the caregiver started to reach out to be in each others arms Jill figured it was time to take back Alia and get the hell out of dodge.

Back in the van, Alia seemed quiet but OK as Amy announced “We go to lunch now, the director of the orphanage said it has the best Tofu in Quing-Yuan”.
Jill and I looked at each other. I guess we should have one meal in Alia’s home town.

Another private dining room with a big TV in a chicken restaurant in Quing-Yuan.
The first dish that came out was the famous chicken complete with a squashed, flat chicken head. Jill and I politely explained again that we don’t do Chicken.
This was followed by two really good tofu dishes and a noodle dish. The food was very good, but we had just finished our “eat till you puke” buffet breakfast at the hotel 3 or 4 hours earlier and we are really not lunch people.
Alia, on the other hand seems to be able to eat at any time and she did.

On the journey home I had Alia on my lap and she only wanted mummy. But we were strong in our resolute and she cried herself to sleep on daddy.

Back at the hotel we hung out on the bed with Alia for an hour or so playing and talking with the love of our lives. Her smile, her laugh, her grin, her personality and her spirit melts our hearts and our souls. We are so grateful for her, and to be her parents.
This is without a doubt the happiest time of our lives.

5 pm Monday:
After playing on the bed it was time again for the pool. Alia wasn’t quite as comfortable as before in there, but it had been a long day for her and she hung in there. She was quite happy sitting in the stroller and “Hanging Out”.

After getting dressed we wandered the shops in the hotel and bought more “Gifts” for Jill and then went for our nightly beer at Roses. Alia was definitely getting tired but did her best to amuse us.

A quick trip followed to get our laundry. A beautiful job all items of clothing washed and folded, and categorized and pressed flat into various plastic bags.

A quick Japanese snack in the restaurant and then time for bed. Boy was it time for bed! Jill and I had no energy to write the blog we were completely drained.
So hoping for forgiving, readers we put our baby to bed and then passed out.

More photos to follow in an hour or two. We must go for breakfast before we miss it.

Love

Jill and Robert